CAN YOU HEAR ME
by ThisGirlFuckingLovesEdward
Summary: A DARK ALTERNATIVE ENDING TO TWILIGHT James kidnaps Bella from the Ballet studio, Edward searches relentlessly for any sign of them. Shattered believing she is dead he finally hears something.
1. Chapter 1

Before you read on.

Just a few changes to the original twilight story line.

- Firstly, there is no Charlie, he died when she was young and she inherited the house and moved there alone for her last year of high school because her mother and Phil were moving around too much.

- There will be a big change in Bella's ability's, Her 'Shield' will be completely different, but that will unfold through the story.

This story is actually a re-write of my first ever fan fiction 'Save me – the dark side of the new moon' but that was badly written and I didn't have the best story line, This Fan fiction will be completely different but should be uploaded quickly because I have something to work with.

Also this story will contain Flash backs to the past, these will be titled so there's no confusion.

**Bella's POV**

It was my mistake, my fault.

He made me promise to stay with Alice but I didn't listen to him. I thought he had my mother but I also thought that by doing this it would all be over. That he wouldn't come after Edward or anyone else if I just went to the ballet studio.

I remember running in when I could hear my mother screaming, I ran at the closet where I could hear her screaming coming from. I opened it to find nothing.

I felt his arm wrap around me, then my back being pulled firmly to his body, before his hand holding a cloth covered my mouth. Then there was nothing, I awoke from darkness into darkness. For days I screamed but it made no difference. I could feel that I was moving that whatever I was in was in the trunk of a car maybe, moving me further and further away from Edward.

Chapter One

Mostly I found myself right here, I would lie still for days, here on the ground in the small dark cold room,

The feeling the hard smooth concrete beneath me was the only thing now that soothed me, even though it chilled me to the bone, it brought on a kind of numbness that I desperately needed.

I couldn't keep track of time anymore. I had lost all sense of it, the darkness and repeat of events made sure that I felt like my life was nothing more than a loop, which will continue to play over and over, forever.

It hurt now; trying to remember just how long I had been here, how long since I was in the ballet studio, since I last saw Edward.

It was as if everything inside of me just shut off,

Any way possible to try to save myself, but by doing so made the weeks feel like it had been forever, as if everything before this was nothing but a dream.

James kept the heavy door to the cell locked at all times; whenever he would close it I would hear something like the rattle of chains,

I know he didn't think I could escape on my own. So the sound of the chains and locks cracking on the outside of the door actually gave me hope. Hope that he was locking me into hide my scent or the sound of my heartbeat so that Edward wouldn't be able to find me. But it had been so long that I had to wonder if he was still looking for me. I knew he would be looking for James, but why would he think to still look for me. How he would find s when we traveled for what seemed like days.

I wondered if he could imagine or understand why he kept me alive.

I wondered Why couldn't he just let me die.

I prayed that I just had to wait for him to save me.

I could feel my body pulsing and throbbing; it seemed like all my bones screamed. His face was all I hung on to anymore, its perfect features and beautiful smile and the hope that I would see him again.

I put my hand to the back of my head and felt the deep cut in hidden in my hair, I pulled myself of the ground and pressed my hand to it.

It was not the worst of it. My body was covered in pain; I could feel my hips, ribs, wrists and everything else screaming as if they had been squeezed almost hard enough to crush my bones.

Suddenly the room was filled with nothing but the sound of approaching footsteps. I could feel my whole body shake and panic as he got closer. By the time he began to unlock the door I couldn't help but cry and pull myself into a ball covering my face with my arms. There was just nothing else I could do.

He grabbed my hair and dragged me from the dark room kicking and screaming along the hard floor. Victoria followed closely behind with a video camera, filming everything.

I wanted to understand.

It was if it was always the same, but always a little bit worse than the last time.

He stood behind me and pulled my shirt off; suddenly I could feel my mind shutting down. My mind and soul left my body. I just starred at the ground as he ripped my pants down to my ankles. They stood laughing as he stepped to my side.

"Look at me" he said calmly and turning me to face him. I couldn't bring myself to look at his face anymore; I just couldn't lift my head.

He suddenly wrapped his hand around the side of my face and viciously brought his lips to mine as his over hand trailed roughly all over my body.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine I was somewhere else, that this wasn't me, that is was a movie I was being forced to watch.

He suddenly pulled away quickly, I opened my eyes to steady my feet just in time to see his hand flying towards me. He slapped me so hard that I hit the ground.

There was something inside of me that took over when he would start hitting me, He kicked me harder and harder but I could never stop myself from trying to get away. As if I could. I tried over and over to pull myself of the ground but it never did any good, he kept kicking me making me scream and cry out in pain.

Until I couldn't get up anymore, until I just laid there on the ground as he knelt over me. I couldn't stay awake anymore. I couldn't hang on; the pain was just too much. I drifted back of into darkness as I felt one of his hands placed on my stomach while the other used something to cut into my skin, the last thing I heard was them laughing and my screaming out one last time.

I don't know how long I was passed out for; I awoke when he suddenly lifted me from the ground and dragged me back into the dark room.

How much longer could I really go on for?, when do I get to stop and give up, Because that's what I wanted to do. I didn't want to examine my body again to try and take care of what would soon be gone.

It's over, I'm done.

I had never felt like this before. Something in me felt so exposed and weak, like this was this raw side of me that I had never seen, it was just coming out now because this was the end.

I'm going to die.

I started to feel myself starting to cry when, I heard him through my heavy breathing.

"Bella"

It made my eyes tear up in an instant because I knew it wasn't real, just another way for my mind to try to protect itself, But still I turned onto my side to see him lying there looking back at me, I just lay there staring in to his eyes, he looked so shocked and afraid. I didn't understand why my mind would make him look so sad when it would be the last time I see him.

"Your here" was all I managed to push past my lips.

He stared back me with a sad smile and his eyes that were full of the darkest rage I had ever seen, he began to whisper looking into my eyes and talking through his teeth.

"I am going to find you...I promise." He said as his jaw clenched even more and his hand started to shake.

"I love you" was all I could say to him as he put his shaky fingers softly to my cheek wiping my tears

"I love you too" he whispered, and then as if a breeze had come and taken him away, he was gone.

I began to sob as I pulled my knees into my stomach even though it killed my body to do such an action. I tried to be quiet but the sobs became louder and louder until they were out of control.

I didn't want him to be gone, for this to happening.

I lay crying for hours when a sound outside stopped me from even breathing.

I looked up into the corner of the ceiling to see the crack and the sunlight shining through it. I remembered that night in the alley when Edward saved me only by listening to the thoughts of the men around me,

And the only reason they had not found me was because they were trying to block him and Alice.

Shut him out of his head. And keep Alice from seeing their futures.

I knew the sound outside that was getting closer was probably just James of Victoria, but then why hadn't I heard it before. I had to do the only thing I could and take the chance.

"HELP, SOMEONE HELP ME"

'Shut up, you think he is going to save you" He yelled as he quickly opened the door slammed me into the wall again.

I didn't listen to him. I could see the smallest bit of fear in his eyes and I kept screaming knowing the words would go into his mind, he wouldn't be able to help it, and Edward would hear me in James's thoughts screaming.

"Edward! Edward! Please Edward!" I screamed out frantically.

Before I could keep going I was hit with suck a force that I was instantly knocked out and woke once again to the coolness of the concrete floor.

There was nothing I could do to get back to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Edward's POV**

I was sure she must be dead.

That I was chasing a ghost,

Chasing nothing but the memory of her smile,

There was no reason James would keep her alive this long. I kept trying to imagine why he would but those thoughts sent me insane.  
>The idea that he had her,<br>that possibly he was keeping her somewhere, was breaking me down just as much as the idea that she was gone from this world.

At first I sat in the Ballet studio in-between searching for her,  
>I could still smell her there, her blood wand scent were both still fresh. Jasper and Emmett patrolled every inch of the town with me, while Alice stayed in the hotel room trying to focus to see if she could get a clear picture of where to look.<p>

Alice said she was sure he had not left town she saw him with Bella in dark room but it was so dark she could not see anything to help us figure out where.

All I had found in the ballet studio was a video playing of Bella when she was a child with her mother; I knew now how he got her to come here alone. Bella would do anything to protect her family even if it meant giving herself to a monster.

After I found the tape playing I looked above the TV to find a tape with my name on it.

I didn't know as I pushed the tape in if I would be watching her death unfold in front of my very eyes, I didn't want to see her pain & her screams. Alice swore she was alive but how could I believe her now when her visions seemed so weak to me. When Bell a seemed so far away.

There she was, my innocent girl. Blood covered the right side of her face. As I watched, my hands squeezed into fists. I could hear James screaming at her, demanding she beg him to stop the pain, that she tell me to avenge her, while he kicked her and pushed her back into the ground when she would try to hopelessly get up and he would violently kick her back down.  
>The last thing I saw on the camera was her saying my name and then the screen went black and just like that she was gone and I had nothing. No clue how to find her or where to even start looking.<p>

It was days before Alice realized that she was wrong.

That they had gone and taken Bella with them,

I spent the nights running on foot through the town. I had seen almost every street, every alley trying to find a trace of a scent that might lead me in there direction.

It felt like I was losing the biggest race of my life, like I was losing her. I was lucky that I didn't need to breathe, because I couldn't, not without her. I lost my heart and my soul when I lost Bella. All I could think about was her frightened face on the video camera and I knew she was depending on me to save her...and I was failing, I was failing her.

I was so close to breaking down, so close to losing control; I had to stay strong for her but I couldn't focus on anything but wondering if she was even alive.  
>Suddenly as I ran I felt something go wrong, while I was running down a dark street my body lost all feeling;<br>I couldn't feel my legs, nothing.  
>My body fell to the ground, I laid there trying to pull myself together, trying to get up when I could suddenly hear her heavy breathing next to me, that's when I looked over and saw her, I saw Bella laying on the ground crying. I reached out to grab ahold of her but just like that she was gone.<p>

All night and the next day I drove in my car hunting for James and victoria's thoughts or traces of them, not being able to stop myself from thinking about what had happened, wondering if I was going mad, when Carlisle suddenly called me from Forks. I answered the phone and thought nothing of it until I hear the pain in his voice.  
>"What's happened Carlisle" I said trying to remain as calm as I could.<br>"You all need to come home; I got a package in the mail from James."  
>"What did it say, is there any clue on where they are?" he didn't answer me instead he breathed heavily into the phone. "Carlisle if she's dead I need you to tell me" I suddenly begged him.<br>"No we have every reason to think that she still alive"  
>"How do you know that but, what was in the package?" I asked panicking<br>he breathed into the phone and answered me with nothing but sorrow in his voice "It's another video tape of her Edward"


	3. Chapter 3

**Edwards POV**

"Where is it let me see it?" I demanded after taking two steps through the front door.  
>Carlisle walked towards me with his hands up, taking ahold of my arms trying to get me to calm down.<br>"Edward I didn't call you back here to watch the tape, I wanted you to come back because you're wasting time in the wrong spot. The stamp on the parcel shows that they are somewhere in Montana or at least close to it." I turned my head to see Emmett walk into the room. He heard what Carlisle and walked over to my side to face him.

I looked at them both and shook my head almost laughing. "Where is the tape, I need to see her."  
>"Can't you see that's what he wants Edward; this is all some kind of game to him. He wants to mess with your head." I looked him in the eyes,<br>"Carlisle he has Bella. I have no choice but to play his games." I said with a shaky voice.  
>"What's on the tape Carlisle" Emmett asked making Carlisle's eyes light up,<br>suddenly I could feel him shutting me out of his mind so that I couldn't see her in his.  
>"I only watched it for a minute. I don't think it will help anyone, there are no clues there." He said looking from Emmett to me, but I shook my head in frustration.<p>

"If something's happened to her I want to see it." I walked past him and up to his study. The tape sat in the old VCR with the remote sitting on top. My hand started to shake as I reached out for it but I couldn't bring myself to stop. I had to see her alive, I had to know that she was at least alive and I still had time to save her.  
>So I pressed play.<p>

Carlisle said he had turned it off after only a minute. I wondered why? What if he had missed something?  
>But after watching the first minute I understood completely why.<p>

He pulled her from a dark room, in what looked like some kind of warehouse; he dragged her kicking and screaming along the floor before standing her up.

I don't know what I expected. Maybe that he would just start hitting her, or make her give me some kind of message. But instead he started pulling her shirt up, she screamed and struggled against him but it made no difference, he grabbed her arm and he tore it of her, I couldn't move an inch. This was the spot, the part when Carlisle had turned it off.

He got behind her and started dragging her jeans of and I felt my hand snap through Carlisle's desk, making it shift and fall to the ground in two big pieces. But I couldn't stop watching long enough to look over at it.  
>I thought I knew what anger felt like, what rage and pain felt like. But that night I realized I knew nothing, His aggressive and forceful hands and lips trailed all over her body no matter how much she begged for him to stop. But when he finally did pull away and stopped he started hitting her, harder and harder, over and over. I watched as she tried to get to her feet and run but never even being allowed to stand up.<p>

But that's not where the tape stopped. Eventually he dragged her limp body back into the room and the screen went black but only for a second.

Then it started again.

For weeks she had survived this. He would drag her out and strip her down, touch her body everywhere while she cried and then he would start beating her until she eventually couldn't take any more and passed out.  
>They would film her lying on the ground naked and covered in her own blood. They would film her until she would start to wake and then they would drag her out of the vision of the camera, only for the screen to go black and start again.<p>

Carlisle was right. This was a game to him. She was nothing more than a toy he was using, but I didn't understand why he was doing this. Why he was keeping her alive, unless torturing us both was what he wanted all along, unless keeping her alive was a part of the game.

I couldn't wait a second longer, I couldn't wait for them to do research and come up with a plan. I ran out past them all and back to my car, Carlisle followed behind me trying to stop me but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I pushed him out of my and got into the car, speeding of. She was somewhere in Montana, then I had to go to Montana.

It took 13 hours to make it there and by the time I did it was just after 10.30pm, I knew she was somewhere in a warehouse, so I drove to the first industrial estate I could find and then searched another ten after that, finding noting.  
>I approached the last one that was in the area and got of the car to walk through the abandoned lot, when suddenly the familiar feeling came over me. I dropped to my knees with confusion as my vision blurred.<br>She was there again, next to me on the road, but this time she was looking at me, it couldn't of been some kind of dream.  
>I could never off imagined her like this, my mind would never allow it.<br>"You're here" she let out with a faint whisper. She looked so weak and hurt, and in that minute I knew that I wasn't going mad, that I could really see her.  
>"I'm going to find you Bella, I promise" I said trying not to focus on anything but her eyes, in case she faded away. But suddenly she was crying and telling me she loved me, I could help but reach out and wipe her tears and tell her I love her back, but then she just slipped away. I looked around and saw that I was still completely alone in the lot. I pulled myself back up and walked back to the car. I drove for hours to the next industrial estate thinking about the way she looked at me, about James putting his hand on her and how she screamed when he hit her, I couldn't stop thinking about how horrified she sounded, I never knew she could sound like that, so hurt and so terrified.<p>

I pulled into the car park just as the sun started to rise and drove through it, but my mind was somewhere else. It was lost in the bad thoughts, lost the way she looked at me, I could see in her eyes that she was waiting for me to save her and I had already took too long.

I decided to go to the next lot when I drove past the last warehouse.

That's when I heard the sound of a faint heartbeat.

That was when I could slow sound of hear her breathing.

I pulled the car to a stop and jumped from it without thinking, throwing myself towards the sounds in the Warehouse.  
>I ran into through the doors expecting a fight, when the smell of Bella took over me.<br>There was no one, nothing;  
>the familiar room from the video was completely empty except for a yellow envelope in the middle of the room. I couldn't think about anything else but getting to her. I ran through the room to the huge steel door. I started banging on it, yelling her name, before gripping it and pulling it from the hinges and dropping it with a smash onto the floor. Smelling Bella's blood in the air more than I ever thought possible, while still being able to hear her heart beat.<p>

I took two steps into the dark room and dropped to my knees in front of where she lay on the ground, I felt like the world was shaking, like something in me was on fire, the sight of her lying there lie that will be forever burnt into my mind, if I couldn't hear her breathing I would think that she was dead. I frantically looked over her body as I leaned down to wrap my arms around her  
>when I noticed she was only wearing her underwear, she was covered in so much blood, bruises and thick dirt. I looked over next to her and saw her ripped clothes lying in a pile next to her while I started taking my coat of and wrapping it around her. I felt every part of me shake as I began lifting her off the ground into my arms.<p>

I don't remember walking out of that place or putting her in the car. I can barely remember telling her to stay with me, pleading with her too hold on, when her heart started to slow as we sped down the highway.  
>But I do remember every step I took inside that hospital, I remember running her through doors and every second after that until they took her from my arms.<p>

I sat in the waiting room with my head in my hands, smelling of nothing else but her blood. I looked down at my shirt to see that I was covered in it; I reached down to my stomach and gripped the fabric with my hand, for the first time since I was human I felt physically sick. I couldn't believe how much blood there was, how lifeless she looked when I found her, how she was locked in that room like an animal, like she was worthless.

I couldn't take it a second longer; I had to go after him. I had to find him, I had to do it now, I sat stuck in a daze, ready to run when two pairs of legs appeared in front of me, thinking mine and Bella's name. "Are you Edward Cullen son?" the sound of the officers voice snapped me into reality, I realized I was still holding my bloody shirt as if it was some kind of life line to her. I quickly let my shirt go and tried to compose myself. I looked up at them and nodding and pulled myself to my feet. I could hear them thinking about how I looked, I could see myself in their thoughts, and I could see why they didn't seem to suspect me. I looked like I was dying without her, like I could barely stand.

"We won't keep you Edward really; we just have to ask a few questions so we can start to find out what happened to Isabella", I nodded again and followed them into a small office down the hall.  
>I sat down as they both settled themselves across from me, wanting to get this over with. I knew they couldn't help but since I had brought her here I had to follow the rules.<br>"Now Edward you are Isabella's first contact for emergencies but she also had a Doctor Carlisle Cullen listed and Doctor Cullen is the one who listed Bella as missing person after she went missing on a family holiday." I couldn't help but be a bit shocked at the small details he read out from a folder while his partner fiddled with the tape recorder.

I knew that Carlisle had called the police and an amber alert had been put out for Bella in the hope that someone might see her, but really we knew having Bella's face plastered all over the TV wouldn't help us find her, but we had to try everything. But I didn't know she had us listed as her emergency contacts, I almost had to wonder when she would have thought to do it and why.

"And he is the one who contacted the police two weeks ago saying that she had gone missing when you were all on a family holiday?" I nodded over and over as he spoke, "He is",

"How and where exactly did you find her here when she went missing in Arizona two weeks ago?", I took a quick breathe as he asked his question and the other detective who sat taking notes, I looked up at them both and told them what they wanted to hear.  
>What was running through their minds already.<br>"I was in Arizona looking for her, I looked everywhere.  
>When I couldn't find her I went home, I waited to see if someone would see her on TV and notify the police, but I got a phone call from the kidnappers, they wanted me to drop off a bag with five hundred thousand dollars in it to the old industrial estate with all the abandoned warehouses in it, the one downtown by the quarry.<br>I went there and dropped the money off at the entrance and done as they told me and walked to the other end of the lot. Then I got a phone call telling me where to find her."

It was simple and believable; they already knew we were wealthy. I could already hear thoughts of ransom running through their minds, the story was theirs; I just filled in the blanks, it was easy to report, knowing money had to be involved somehow made their job easier.

I sat back in my chair in the waiting room again after the police left, staring at the ground when I heard Emmett's thought rushing into my head when he saw me. I looked up as he made his way over to me, he looked at me and didn't say or think anything. He just sat beside me and reached over to put his hand on my shoulder.  
>"Have you heard anything from the doctors yet?" he said softly as if he was scarred of the answer.<br>I looked over at him and shook my head, "No, they took her into surgery as soon as I got her here, they haven't said anything yet."  
>He leaned back in his chair nodding to himself lightly, and I could hear him assuring himself in his head that she would be ok. That the thick smell of blood in the Warehouse couldn't off been as bad as it seemed. "You've been there" I questioned, turning to face him.<br>He looked up at me with his face full of sorrow, "I was following you, and I was right behind you. Then I got there and found the Envelope for you and I could smell you there, so I knew you had gotten to her. But I didn't know if she was alive. I could just smell her blood everywhere; it was soaked into the air, that's when Alice called me and said that you were at the Hospital".  
>I didn't push Em a second further, Just being in that room seem to have set him to a panic that he still couldn't snap out of, the seconds when he thought he was standing in the room she had died in was enough to eat him alive and I could hear his mind doing everything it could to stop thinking about it.<br>He sat with me for hours I silence, we both looked like ghosts, and we slouched lifelessly in the chairs staring at the tiles on the floor. There was nothing to say or do, we didn't want to talk about it, but we couldn't talk about anything else. After a while I felt my phone vibrate. It was a text from Carlisle saying that he was just a few hours away, I started to write back to him when the ICU doors finally opened,  
>We both leapt to our feet as the doctor said my name, we rushed over to him, not giving him a chance to talk.<br>"Is she ok", Em and I both chanted out as the doctor slowly raised one hand trying to calm us.  
>"We will be keeping her sedated to give her time to rest because she was in surgery for so long, as im sure you know Mr Cullen her injuries were quite extensive, we had to do operate on almost every part of her body. Doctor Jeffery's, just happened to be in town and he is one of the best cosmetic surgeons in the country, and he believes that damage done to Bella's face will recover well from the surgery, but he believes that over parts of her body, like her stomach for example with need a few more surgeries before it won't be noticeable"<br>I wanted to ask what he was talking about, as soon as he started talking about her stomach I wanted to stop him and ask,

But I didn't need too.  
>I could see it clearly in his head, I could hear the doctor still talking but I couldn't put the words together. I ran my hands into my hair and started pulling at it trying to stop shaking,<br>"Can I see her, I need to see her" I choked out stopping the doctor from talking any further.

Knowing I had to get back to her side.


	4. Chapter 4

Edwards POV

I could barely recognize her.

The blood and dirt had been cleaned off her, but it only showed just how badly battered her small body was. She was completely covered in bruises, grazes, stitches and bandages. She had tubes, drips and machines coming from everywhere, and her face,  
>her face was so badly bruised and swollen that I could barely make out that it was Bella. To the point where I found myself wondering if I didn't know her scent and the sound of her heartbeat so well, that if I was just human, if I could be able to recognize her at all.<p>

I dropped into the chair by her bed and pressed my face into her hand, the only part of her that I wasn't scarred to touch in case I hurt her.

I pressed my lips to the soft skin on her palm and told her that I was sorry over and over. I shouldn't have left her with Alice. I should have just stayed with her and none of this would ever have happened. I would have been there when James called her and stopped her from running of alone.

Hours passed while I stayed like that. Hanging off the end of the chair and leaning into her bed, running my fingers over the skin on her hand. I kept looking at it safely in mine. I couldn't allow myself to think of anything else but this second, or I would be out there right now looking for him. I would let my animal instincts take over and hunt him down. There was a part of me that was two steps out the door, every time I looked up at her and saw the marks on her body, saw the damage he had done to her, I wanted nothing more than to hunt him down and rip him to shreds. But the rest of me couldn't and wouldn't move from her side, it was the stronger side.

Carlisle came in almost silently to check on Bella when he finally arrived at the hospital, even though I could hear his thoughts as he took in the sight of her injuries I couldn't bring myself to face him and see the look on his face. He told me that Alice had rung and said that she would be awake soon and I couldn't help but wonder why she wasn't here telling me herself.  
>Before leaving me with her, he handed me a bag with a clean shirt in it, while he rested his other hand on my back, but still I couldn't look away from my fingers running over her skin on her palm. He rubbed soft circles on my back, like any other father would do when he saw his son like this, I knew he didn't want to leave but I also knew he wouldn't stay because I never asked him too.<p>

I wanted her to wake up somewhere quiet, with the least amount of vampires in the room as possible. It wasn't just Carlisle or the rest of my family, I wasn't sure if she would wake up and tell me she didn't want me anywhere near her, and for that I would completely understand. It was vampires that had done this too her. I was the same breed of monster that they were and now she really knew just what monsters were capable of.

I noticed her eyes scrunch slightly and her hand that I was holding lightly squeezed mine. I watched her closely as she slowly woke up,

Her eyes opened slowly, squinting, I stood over her, I wanted to see her big brown eyes but when I looked into them I saw that her right eye was completely blood red.  
>Before I could think to speak, she suddenly weakly, whispered out my name,<p>

"I'm here" I answered quickly. Her eyes slowly started to close again but I could see her struggling to keep them open and take in what happened, I could see traces of panic.  
>I kept one hand on hers and used the other to softly soothe her hair back as I put my mouth to her ear to whisper to her as she fell back to sleep.<p>

"Your safe now baby, I'm right here" was all I got our before she relaxed and fell quickly back to sleep. I kissed her ear and soothed her hair, running my fingers in it and repeating the words over and over until I knew she was asleep.

All night and the next morning the doctors came in and checked on her and told me how exhausted she must be to have slept for so long. Other than the doctors the only one to come in was Carlisle.  
>He sat with her in silence for hours before he was unable to help himself but lean over her and kiss her forehead gently, "you'll be ok Bella" he said so softly that even I could barely hear him.<br>That was when he got a close look at her neck and saw bruises so dark they were almost black. Markings in the shape of his hands covered her, but her neck was different, she had similar marks on her wrists and ankles, I could hear Carlisle thinking the same thing. His mind couldn't help but race at the sight and I couldn't handle listening to him trying to figure it out. Figured out what I had been unable to help myself but realize after the hours of staring at her.

"It's from rope." I said harshly through my teeth, not wanting to think about it for second longer, but finding I had no choice.  
>I looked down at her hand as I had for hours and lightly ran my fingers over the marks on her small wrist and I could feel myself braking,<br>"I guess he tied her up" I choked out, as he took the two step back over to me. He stood behind my chair and knelt down wrapping his arms around my chest. Something inside me forced one of my hands to reach up and hold onto his arm as if it could somehow make this better or keep me grounded somehow.

That evening Carlisle said goodbye before leaving to head back to forks. Jasper had left last night to continue to try and track down what direction James and Victoria had gone in. I walked Carlisle into the hallway to say goodbye, I watched him walk into the elevator when I glanced down the hallway to see Em sitting in the same seat I had left him in.

I looked behind me to see Bella still unmoving, before wondering down the hall to the waiting room.

"Hey Em", his head snapped up revealing his still horrified expression, "You ok?" I asked carefully even though it was clear he was far from it.  
>"Is she awake yet?" He asked anxiously, not answering my question.<br>"she's still asleep" I said reaching out to place my hand on his shoulder,  
>"you can leave if you want Em, you don't need to stay." ,<br>"No" he bust out interrupting me, "I want to stay here. I want to watch her room." I rubbed his arm and nodded.  
>It was his choice and it did make more sense having him stay. "You can come in the room and sit with her" I offered, but he shook his head looking down at his hand that were scrunched into fists, "I'm just not ready to see her like that Edward, I know that's horrible. But I just don't think I can take it, not right now." He started to babble and get even more anxious, until I gripped his shoulder, "hey, it's ok. Your here, that's all that matters. I know she'd be grateful, really".<br>I never heard him think that way about himself; I had never heard his mind so full of guilt and anger, it just wasn't him to dwell, but this has taken ahold of him. He blamed himself.  
>I wanted to console him but he told me to go back to Bella, in case she woke as he started trying to block his thoughts. He wanted to be left alone with them I guess, to figure something out on his own maybe.<p>

You would think that the worst thing would be the waiting for her to wake up.  
>So I could talk to her and hear her voice, tell her I love her.<br>But that's wasn't how it was.  
>She looked like she had finally found a tiny bit of peace. More than she'd had in weeks, I wanted that for her.<br>I wanted her to stay in a sweet dream as long as she could before she woke back up into the nightmare, before she would have to be in pain from all of this damage done to her body and soul.

Up until James took Bella, I hadn't spent a single night away from her.

Every night I gladly stayed with her while she slept, she would always fall asleep on my chest and I would lay there with her all night, one hand would be reaching over to her waist, resting on the bare skin of her hip, the other would be tangled up in her hair and I could feel her legs slowly move all night until they were wrapped into mine, so that you couldn't tell where she stopped and I began.

I wanted to pick her up and run back into that moment. Keep her safe therein our home and in my arms forever.

But that simply wasn't possible.

I noticed her body starting to shift; her fingers in my hand twitched and squeezed mine slightly when her eyes slowly opened. But it was like a sudden shock of electricity ran through her body as soon as she fully woke up. I said her name but she didn't seem to hear me; she just used all of her energy to start trying to get out of the bed, before she had even looked around to see where she was. Her heart raced and she let out a sudden panicked cry as I lightly braced her arms and got in front of her, forcing me into her vision,  
>she stopped moving and struggling as soon as she looked at me but she didn't stop shaking. I pressed her gently and slowly back onto the mattress, not taking my eyes of hers, "Bella, baby your safe now."<br>Before I could say another word she quickly reached out and pulled me too her. I hovered over her body for hours while she hung onto me, refusing to let me go for a second, but she didn't make a sound.  
>Eventually I crawled onto the bed beside her and wrapped my arm around her, so she didn't have to stop clinging to me. She dug her fingers into my skin tighter than she ever had, shaking more and more, and holding on tighter and tighter, as if she thought I would just fall from her hands.<p>

I lay there with her like that for a week in that hospital.  
>She would just stare of into the distance, refusing to talk to me, no matter what I asked. She ignored the doctors just like she did me, to the point where I wasn't even sure she could hear us sometimes. They would come into examine her injuries and change the dressing and bandages but she would just look away with this blank expression on her face, A specialist came in to look at her eye, to decide if she would need surgery to repair the damage, I saw her look confused, like she wanted to ask about her eye, the doctor had a small mirror beside the bed, but Bella refused to pick it up and look at it. I honestly don't know if I did want her to see, she just didn't seem like she was strong enough to take any more.<p>

The only time I had seen any reaction from her was when the doctors tried to expose her stomach to change the dressing. She screamed so loud that three other doctors and nurses that were walking the halls outside, came running in concerned. They spent twenty minutes trying to convince her that it needed to be checked on. Until I saw her eyes fill with tears. That was when I demanded that they all leave.  
>Eventually they offered Bella sedation, so she wouldn't have to be conscious during the examination. To which she nodded before retreating back into her mind.<p>

But no matter what,  
>One thing never changed. She never let me go.<br>She didn't want me to leave her; she didn't have to say a word for that to be obvious.  
>So when they came in to sedate her and she fell off to sleep, I kept my hand where it was. I kept my fingers tangled around her small hand, just as it had been since I got to her.<p>

I wanted to look at her hand in mine or her face, but when they removed the dressing her blood was suddenly thick in the air and I just couldn't stop myself.  
>I closed my eyes for a moment bracing myself, but nothing could have prepared me for the sight of his name carved and stitched into her skin.<br>I felt every muscle inside of me tense up and seize, there seemed to be nothing inside of me that was working. Long after they covered her wound back up and even after she woke again.  
>I got onto the edge of the bed and carefully brought her close to me and put my arms around her as her hands gripped me tightly again. I pressed my lips to her hair and closed my eyes and found that I just couldn't move. I wanted to be strong for her; I wanted to be as strong as she thought I was. But I don't know how to do that for her. I don't know what else to do except hold onto her.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**Edwards POV**

Bella had been asleep for at least an hour, she dozed off after yet another examination. She turned her head to the window and continued to stare at the sky long after the doctor left.

I was lost In thought staring at her, when I could suddenly hear him standing outside the door.

I could hear his hand on the door ready to open it, but it was taking him the longest time to realize that he was going to have to do it sooner or later and it was killing him not coming in and seeing her alive and breathing.

Every day he walked the halls and around the perimeter of the hospital, to the point where everyone assumed he was a bodyguard.

Eventually he turned the handle softly and slowly, not making a noise as he pushed the door open and stepped in.

Being a doctor it was different for Carlisle I guess, he could handle looking at her. But Em looked at her lying asleep on the bed for no more than three seconds before his eyes dropped to the ground.

I stood up and walked over to him, placing my hand on his arm. He looked up at me and ran his hand over his head. I could hear him telling himself that he could handle it. He walked passed me and sat in the chair next to mine.

He starred at her for the longest time before talking, Trying to figure out what to ask first.

"Does she need any more surgeries?" He asked taking in the bruises that covered her face.

"She will soon, on her stomach and maybe her eye if it doesn't respond to the treatment."

"What's kind of surgery?, What's wrong with her eye and stomach?" He asked calmly but urgently.

It took me the longest time to find the strength to verbalize all the information I had acquired. I wanted to find a way to tell him so it wouldn't sound so horrible. But there was no way other than the truth.

"He used a knife or something to cut his name into her stomach and her right eye is completely red, like all the blood vessels have ruptured from being hit" I knew he could see the mark on her right eye that I could, it ran down her cheek, like maybe he had hit her with a pipe or something.

I wanted him to be prepared for when she opened her eyes. I knew it would be too much of a shock for him.

I would watch her while she looked blankly at anything else but me. She knew the damage that had been done now. I could see her taking it all in, I could see her face change and her eyes well up when the doctors tried to explain it to her. Sometimes she would close her eyes tightly and shake her head to herself, as if she was trying to block out the information, or maybe just disappear from the room.

I was lucky that I had spent so much of my time examining her facial expressions that I had spent almost every minute since I met her trying to figure out what was going on inside her head. Without it I would be completely useless. I needed to be able to just look at her and know that she was going to break down; I needed to know because it had been two weeks since I brought her to the hospital and not a word.

The only time I would hear her voice was when she would wake screaming. Some nights she would suddenly scream out my name so loud that I doubt I will ever forget the sound of the complete horror in her, just knowing she was reliving a moment, one she waited through torture for me to find her.

For me to stop them from hurting her like that.

She started to wake after a few hours. I leaned forward in my chair and told her that I was here. She looked over at me, as if she had to verify that fact. She glanced at me then went to turn her head away when Emmett caught her eye. I don't know what I expected from him, he had been so distressed over how she looked that I was surprised when he got up and sat on the edge of her bed.

She looked up at him for a second and for a brief moment I thought she was going to say something, but her gaze quickly dropped from his and back down to feet. But it didn't seem to faze Emmett. He took her hand from me slowly and I sat back in my chair. Praying that maybe he could get through to her somehow.

He carried out a completely one sided conversation with her for at least an hour and done it with complete ease.

He talked to her like he would any other day, he talked about the movies he had got stuck watching in the waiting room, about how a nurse kept asking him if he was hungry until he eventually had to except a sandwich from her and eat it.

Even though she wasn't looking at him she seemed to like listening to him, listening to him talk about anything but what was really going on.

When he told her he would be back later and got up to move and she actually looked back over at him just for a second.

After he left I stood up and got onto her bed side. I reached out over ran my fingers through her hair softly, she closed her eyes just for a moment at the gesture. She looked over at me but refused to look at my face.

I wanted to read her mind and see what she wanted me to do. But all I could do was look at her face and guess.

I looked at her expression and asked the only thing I could see behind her eyes.

"Do you want to go home Bella?", she looked straight up to me and reached over to me and pulled me to her side, responding only by quickly nodding into my chest.

It took two days to have everything arranged. Emmett organized a private jet to fly us all back and Carlisle talked to the doctors assuring them that Bella would be taken care of as soon as she landed.  
>It would have been a better idea to stay with Carlisle and everyone else but I wasn't sure that would help her, or that it was what she would want.<p>

I did everything I could trying not to push her in any way, trying to make sure she was as comfortable as she could be and staying in a house she had never slept in before didn't seem to make much more difference than just staying here, all I knew was that if I was her, I would want to go home, that the only reaction she had given me to any question was that one. That was enough for me to at least try for her.

I don't know what it was about the expression on her face, the whole way home she looked so blank and far away from me. She didn't look sad or happy or even uncomfortable, she just looked distant.  
>The swelling on her face had gone down significantly but the bruises still remained and I couldn't see anywhere on her body where they had begun to fade.<p>

Thankfully the trip home was quick, I wrapped my arm around her waist and helped her off the jet to the wheel chair that Carlisle stood waiting with. I couldn't help but notice how she seemed to be deliberately doing everything she could to ignore everything that was happening. I picked her up from the chair and put her into the back of the car.  
>No one really said anything in the car, but she leaned her head into my side. I don't know why the gesture meant so much, why the feeling of the weight of her resting into my side melted me. But it did. I knew that this had to be the right thing to do, she seemed to be relaxing slightly, and by the time we made it to our street she had fallen asleep; she stayed that way while I lifted her from the car and took her into our home.<p>

It still looked the same, smelled the same. My jacket was still flung over the lounge; my shoes were on the floor by the stairs next to Bella's and for some reason I couldn't help but look down at how 'calmly' everything seemed to be sitting around us as I carried her up the stairs to the bedroom and walked into our room placing her on the bed.

Carlisle explained what I needed to do and what medications she needed to have, I let him tell me even though I had already had at least three other doctors explain it all to me. But I couldn't help but be nervous that I would do something wrong.

I couldn't believe how quiet it was.

I watched her sleep for the longest time before looking over to the bedside table where my pile of books sat. I wanted to reach out and take the one that sat open on the pile, holding its page. But to do so I felt like I was somehow trying to turn back time. I felt so guilty at the thought that I didn't do anything, I just looked at them.

I remembered when the pile was small, before they trailed off the bedside table on to the floor.

When I could hear her voice.

When I could hear it chiming through the house.


	6. Chapter 6

Flashback

Edward's POV

I loved the way she walked; Even the sound of her footsteps sent a shock to my system, I think it was because that sound meant she was close, I could always feel a build of anticipation every time I could hear her coming towards me, waiting to see her face and hear what she was going to say.

She wondered into the bedroom looking down at a magazine shaking he head. I smiled as she seemed to be engrossed in an article when she wondered over to the trash can by her desk and dropped it in. There was a split second where hurt covered her face. But only for a second, then she turned and seemingly shaking it off before meeting my gaze with a smile.  
>I held the book in one hand and dropped my arm to my side, smiling back at her "Everything ok?" I asked curiously.<br>She walked over and shook her head still smiling at me, "Everything is fine" she said leaning down, wrapping her leg over me to sit on my stomach and rest both her hands flat on my chest.  
>I could feel her body on mine, the weight of her pressing into me; I could feel the tips of her hair tickling my neck , her legs wrapped firmly into my sides, her fingers pressed into me, I could feel everything, I could feel so much more than what I could see. After so much time alone, I never thought that I would physically be able to feel her love as strongly as I do her hands on my chest.<p>

"were you fast when you were alive?" she asked randomly.  
>I thought about the question and tried to remember if I was,<br>I shook my head, "Not particularly" I answered with a shrug while playing with her fingers.

"So when you were human, you were no faster than me?"

I laughed, "I guess we will never know" I said smirking at her.

She smiled playfully "Maybe if we could even things up a bit"

I raised my eyebrow at her and grinned.

"You could turn me in to a vampire and then we could have a fair race" she smiled at her joke and straightened her back; sure of herself.

I reached up quickly and rolled her over so she was under me and then I arched my back and neck and did my best fake exaggerated growl plunging into her neck kissing it over and over , tickling her.

She wrapped her hands around my neck and her legs around my waist even though I was tickling her to tears she never pushed me away she just pulled me closer and held me tighter I lifted her upright with me. I kept kissing her neck while I held her up to my chest.

She laughed so hard she could not form words. I pulled my head back from her neck to look at her while she tried to contain the giggles. She rested her head into mine struggling to breathe. I put my hand to the side of her neck and rubbed her cheek with my thumb. I wanted to ask her right then but I was so worried that it was too soon and I really didn't want to push her into anything before she was ready.

I should have just asked her.

I wanted to marry her, I always thought about asking her. It was this perfect moment and she looked into my eyes moving in slowly closer to my face resting her cheek to mine. I could feel her warm breath hit my ear when she breathed and I felt my whole body shudder.

"I can feel it" she whispered.

I didn't move an inch. Even when her breath brushed my skin again making me shudder again.

"Feel what" I asked in a low shaky voice caused by the closeness of her.

I could almost hear her small grin. She moved back and looked at my face still grinning.

"I am exactly where I am meant to be."

I was convinced she could read my mind, because she saw what I saw and felt what I felt with complete ease.

She knew like I did that our whole lives led us to that moment I was sure of it too. She leaned in slowly and crushed our lips together I laid her back down on to the bed and ran my hand through her hair and slowly down her side to the top of her thigh.

Bella lifted my shirt so she could run her hands under it all over my skin. Lightly grazing my back with her fingernails and I could not help but start to breathe heavily. I could feel one of her legs still wrapped around my waist firmly the other was intertwined with my legs. I could feel her hands all over my body and I knew I should be stopping her. Telling her to stop right NOW, But I couldn't think clearly about anything but her body under my hands and her lips pressing into mine.

She slowed and we both pulled away at the same time and smiled warmly at each other it wasn't because we wanted to stop but. It was because I had to look at her. She had to look at me.

We lay like that for hours looking into each eye's until I watched them fall closed. I spent all night and morning marveling over her over every piece of her, all the little things that made her up, that made her perfect. Bella moved onto her side and her arm stretched out to the side of the bed, hitting the book I had been reading earlier. I picked it up and leaned over her to put it on the bedside table when I saw into the trash can, it was the magazine Bella had been reading. I wouldn't off think anything of it but it was a sports magazine and it seemed a bit odd. I reached over and picked it up, careful not to wake Bella. The magazine was still folded open to the page she was reading, I looked over the pages to a small article in the bottom corner that spoke about Phil, Bella's stepfather and how he had signed a contract for new team. They would be moving half way across the state and she hadn't had so much as a call from them in weeks.

I wanted to pull her close, to wake her u and tell her that she would always have me. Because I couldn't imagine not talking to her, not being with her like this every day all day, in this peace.

After months of living with Bella and loving her every second along the way, it never really occurred to me that it would end, it was an obvious fact and I knew it well but right then in that moment I could feel it with every inch of my being. I never until that moment even had a clue of what it would feel like to lose her. To have to put her lifeless cold body into the ground, I couldn't stand it. Not ever.

The months I lived with Bella were the happiest of my existence. But it was not until that moment that I started to panic. The perfect moment very quickly turned into an anxiety attack. I watched her sleep in front of me and I knew that one day she would not be so close. She would not always be in bed with me dreaming peacefully next to me, I felt like I had been hit by a train and that feeling never went away, not ever.

I put my fingers onto the skin on her bare arm and the feeling of it forced me to pull her in tighter and press my face to hers kissing her lips moving slowly over to her cheek and then down her neck and I could feel her waking up. She shifted her whole body closer in to mine by entwining our legs and wrapping her arms around me. I had my face in her hair and I could not stop breathing in her scent in and rubbing my hands up and down her back under her thigh lifting her leg and moving my body even harder against her. She moved her weight into me too and moved to roll me onto my back. I let her.

We both lost complete control. I could not stop her when I wanted her so much. How could I ever push her away when eventually I would lose her for good? I always knew that when she died one day I would find a way to end my own life because this world is nothing without her.

Without her it would be full of pain and I would not be me. I would turn into a monster and simply not care but I could never do it in her name.

I would have to die.

But what if when I die and I do not see her? If I can't be with her after death, would I have to spend eternity somewhere else without her?

I breathed heavily into her neck and pressed my face into her. I did not even realize Bella had unbuttoned my shirt until I felt her hand rubbing my chest. But she felt my breath hitting her and she must of felt how shaky it was and stopped.

She looked at the bare skin on my chest and her hands on it. She spent seconds letting her brain catch up to what was happening. She got as lost in the moment as I always did. But I usually would have stopped her a long time ago but I didn't and she had just realized I was not planning on stopping.

She looked at my face as soon as the thought occurred to her. She looked so worried as if she would cry if she blinked her eyes.

"What's going on?"

I couldn't answer her. I just looked at her and tried to find words but couldn't.

I put my hand to her face and stroked her face with my finger tips and then rested them on her lips. A single tear fell from her eye and she took my hand on her face into her hand and twirled or fingers together.

"You're really freaking me out Edward" her voice sounded hurt and I could see she was starting to have her own panic attack.

"Don't freak out Bella. Everything is fine."

She looked into my eyes again and slowly shook her head and started to look frustrated in seconds.

"Why are you lying to me?, something must be wrong or we wouldn't be…" she demanded still on the verge of crying.

I didn't answer; I didn't want to lie to her.

"Just tell me Edward. Why didn't you stop me?"

I looked at her biting her lip and running her fingers through her hair to get it off her face and I just loved her. I smiled because I always thought I could never love her more than I did and I was always wrong.

"I don't want to stop you Bella. I don't want to anymore, because I want you, forever."

She looked at me and the sadness that I'm sure that covered my face.

"We don't get forever though, do we Edward" She didn't ask like it was a question more like she was just finishing what I was saying. Understanding exactly what I meant. This life we built, this love that we were drowning in, our laughs, our kisses all of it, It all had an expiration date and I turned my beginning in to my end because I finally had to accept there would be an end.

Those memories of us in her house didn't seem like they happened here in this town. They didn't seem like the happened on this planet, more as if I was in heaven with her. Or maybe it was all just a dream. I would believe it if I was told. I have had a long life but not one day mattered until her. I want to just make this go away but I can't take her and run into our dreams of the past when they are nothing but that.

I can't take us back to our peacefully happy life. I can't get us back there,

because we are stuck here.


End file.
